Mental Health Archives Group Therapy Associates

Looking for a quick fix? Sleep might be the answer

March 27, 2014 • Couples, GTA posts for esther's site, GTA Services & Events, Mental Health, parenting, Self Care Is Sexy, Stress and Relaxation, Uncategorized • by Esther

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Whether you’re a parent struggling to keep up with your child’s demanding schedule or a busy couple who’s sleep patterns are out of sync, the statistics show that you are probably all sleep deprived. As a culture we are chronically exhausted and overwhelmed but most of us don’t think naps are an option.

But as Karen Brody points out in her article, Memo to Moms: It’s Eat, Pray, Sleep, finding a way to give your body and mind the rest it needs is crucial to living a happier and healthier life. I can’t agree more with much of what she says…

“Sleep is all we need. After my nap I remembered that: (A) I loved myself; (B) I wasn’t a Loser Mom; (C) my kids were terrific (even though Jacob always leaves his socks in the living room); and (D) my husband was a honey (not the evil guy who goes on two week international work trips).

I also remembered how much I loved going to a yoga nidra class when my kids were little. Yoga Nidra is an ancient form of yogic sleep where you lay on the floor and the teacher guides you into a meditative state. It’s that simple.”

If you want to know more about this magical yoga, read the rest of Karen’s article, check out Richard Miller’s book, Yoga Nidra: The Meditative Heart of Yoga, or better yet

Join me this Sunday, March 30, for an introductory workshop!

Together with Annette Kielkop of The Source Yoga in McLean, I’ll be co-hosting a special workshop in Gainesville on this very topic. Come and learn you can get better sleep and feel more refreshed on a daily basis.

There’s still time to register and come find out for yourself the power of sleep to transform your daily life! YogaNidra-SelfLoveWorkshop1

5 Simple Strategies to Survive the Winter Blues

March 17, 2014 • General, Mental Health, Self Care Is Sexy, Stress and Relaxation • by Esther

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Winter can be a long and dreary season for many of us. After the beauty of pristine snow and delicate icicles has slowly evolved into a slushy mess of grey and cold, winter stops being pretty and starts feeling endless. Between the lack of sunlight, cold temperatures, and lack of social activity it easy to see how this season can take its toll on your mood. So here are 5 simple ways to brighten your mood and get through these last few days of winter.

Create a springtime playlist. Music can be a powerful mood lifter and an easy way to shift gears mentally no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Whether you like iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, or keep it old school with CDs, set up a special playlist for yourself. Choose songs that evoke a feeling of optimism, happiness, or summertime parties and listen to it whenever you’re feeling crabby or down.

Get some sunshine. One of the reasons that a long winter can be so tough on us emotionally is the lack of sunlight. It has a biological impact on our bodies that can show itself as depressed mood and lack of energy. So whenever possible, sit by the window, bundle up and go for a walk, or just turn on some extra lamps at home. If you are experiencing more significant symptoms you might want to consider investing in a light box or light bulbs specially designed to mimic the effects of natural sunlight.

Be social. After the all the excitement of the holiday season has died down, most people aren’t too excited to get out and party. The cold nights and need for layers and boots instead of cute dresses and sandals can deter many of us from venturing out to party with friends. But socializing is a big part of what keeps us happy and emotionally healthy. We need to connect and enjoy time with others so make a point to plan at least one social activity with friends or family each week. The time together will more than make up for the hassle of getting out in the snow.

Make plans. While learning to be present-focused is an important skill, there’s still value in having something to look forward to. Planing for a summer vacation or spring time weekend adventure will help to pull you out of the winter doldrums. When we set goals for ourselves it can bring new meaning to the daily tasks ahead of us. Even something as simple as pulling out a favorite sundress or college t-shirt and planning to wear it as soon as the weather warms up can lift your mood and get you thinking about the joy of warmer weather.

Embrace the wonder of winter. Remember how you felt the first time you saw a snowflake or the prettiness of changing leaves? Winter is a necessary time of rest for nature and for our spirits. Even though it may take it’s toll on our mood, remember that without winter we would not have the renewal of spring or the wonder of summer. Take a moment each day to be grateful for something related to winter. You can be philosophical about it and focus on the gift of rest that it bestows on us, find the fun in it and be grateful for another chance to snowboard, or keep it practical and just be glad to warm up your cold fingers with a hot latte. Either way, reconnecting with the joy of winter will help you get through it’s challenges with a little more joy.

*please note that if you are experiencing significant sadness, hopelessness, or other depressive signs that impact your daily functioning, you should seek the support of a qualified therapist or physician If you have been diagnosed with depression or SAD (seasonal affective disorder) these tips may be help but should not replace your current treatment plans without consulting your health provider*

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why you need to stop “keeping calm” and start freaking out… Erika Napoletano style

October 1, 2013 • General, GTA posts for esther's site, Mental Health, Self Care Is Sexy, Stress and Relaxation • by Esther

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One of my biggest claims to fame is my even temperament. I am unflappable in even the most chaotic and crazy-making situations.

At least that’s what most people think.

Except maybe my husband…

and my kids…

and probably my mother cause she’s known me the longest.

They know the truth and until now, I would’ve have probably tried to lock them all in a closet before letting them spill the beans that I am in fact prone to freak outs and melt downs.

It turns out that I’m just like everyone else in life who experiences moments (or days, or weeks, or seemingly endless periods) of feeling stressed out, overworked, confused, unfocused, and overwhelmed.

Running a business, being a therapist, writing, coaching, parenting, marriage, taking care of our 3-legged dog {don’t ask}, trying to cook healthy meals… oh yeah and laundry {I can never keep up with laundry!!}

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for everyone one of these things. They are fantastic and joyful parts of my life {except maybe the laundry… we really aren’t friends.}but from time to time any of these things (or a combination of them) can create inner turmoil that I work like crazy to keep under wraps. After all what would people think if I fell apart and let it show?!

But here’s a secret that so many of us {including un-flappable me} don’t remember often enough-
losing it, freaking out, having a total melt down is NOT failure.

In fact when we freak out the “right” way, it can be incredibly liberating and provide perspective on how to clarify our priorities and figure out what’s next. But don’t take my word for it… check out this article from Erika Napoletano. {I love her tip about creating a place that’s “scary safe”… so important!}

She is a business genius, bestselling author, TEDx talker, American Express columnist, and by all outward appearances wildly successful and put together. Except for the mini-meltdown she had a few weeks ago…

on stage…
while giving a talk to 400+ people.

The great news is she discovered some rather important lessons and even better news- she shared them with all of us!

Read her article, What you could gain by losing your mind, and then tell me about your freak outs and melt downs in the comments below.

Today’s post is an email that went out to our special Dig Deep & Get Unstuck email list. This list is for people who feel stuck, stagnant, frustrated, and are ready to do the hard work of being vulnerable and having some honest self-reflection in order to get clear about what’s next in their lives.

It’s a place where I share resources, tools, and personal insights about what it really means to live authentically and bravely even when it’s scary {and let’s face it, that’s most of the time!}

If you’re interested in joining this list and getting access to special pricing on some of our unique coaching services, please click here. {note- this list is totally separate from our blog subscribers and other email lists so even if you’re on one of those, you have to sign up if you want to get the Dig Deep content}

how do you define success?

September 12, 2013 • All About Therapy, Couples, Family Stuff, General, Mental Health, parenting • by Esther

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This week was back-to-school night for my kids. Another year of me wandering the halls trying to find classrooms to hear teachers talk about their plans for the year.

Inevitably every teacher I met talked about success- how to help your child succeed in their class; what it means to successfully complete a project; or how to help your kid change course when they seem to be headed away from academic success.

All this talk about “success” got me thinking… what does it really mean to be succeed?

Sure there are some clear cut standards of success at school. Grades and awards seem to clearly define who’s doing a good job. But as anyone who’s left high school knows, that’s not really an accurate measure of life success. In your professional life salaries and promotions may replace grades and accolades but for most of adults, these are not enough to genuinely feel success. Far too often I talk to people who have all the outward signs of a successful life- a nice car, a big house, a seemingly happy family, a good paying job- and yet there is a nagging feeling of inadequacy and sometimes even failure.

That got me thinking about how I believe in defining success. As a writer and therapist, I’ve come to appreciate commitment to the process, be it writing a new article or working through a therapeutic issue, as the true measure of success.

It is a success when a client who has been struggling with abuse finally feels safe enough to discuss it in session.

It is a success when a couple is able to finally put into words the hurt or anger that has been eating away at their relationship.

It is a success when we can take a child with academic issues and finally uncover the learning disabilities that are holding them back.

These are moments that are rarely filled with joy and yet there is no denying that they are successes. They are opportunities to change a situation or in some cases just alter one’s perception of a situation and that is ultimately the goal of therapy and coaching.

Often when we look for our successes we look for tangible goals or external rewards and praise. At work you may feel success when you are given a promotion or move on to a job with a big new salary. At school our children find success in grades and accolades from teachers or peers. And even in my own life outside of therapy I can get caught up looking for external validation for my success whether that means having a new article published or having our practice recognized in the community.

But that’s not where real success lies; and it is at those times that I remind myself of the words I often share with my clients…

Success is in the process not the final destination.

It is in the small steps, the everyday victories that bring us closer to the people we love or help us to recover from the challenges of life that we find our real triumphs. In fact the act of engaging in some kind of personal growth process- be it therapy, coaching, a self-help book or class- is in itself a success because it means you have taken a courageous first step toward healing a relationship or living your life differently.

Each time you try a new skill or approach a problem with a new perspective you have succeeded in taking action to make your life a little better. Each of these small steps add up until before you know it you have transformed yourself, your relationships, and your life.