The surprising key to helping your child succeed this school year

October 15, 2013 • Family Stuff, GTA Services & Events, Health Resources, parenting, Parenting and Family Life, Teenagers, Teens • by
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Kids Under Construction: Social skills for big kids

Kids Under Construction: Social skills for big kids

As we roll past the half way mark for this school quarter, many parents are still wondering how to help their kids be successful this year.   While tutors and excellent teaching are certainly helpful, for many kids it’s not the academic challenges that get in the way.

 

Healthy social support, from parents and friends, can mean the difference between good grades and appropriate behavior or a negative downward spiral for many kids and teens.  Despite the many influences in their lives, strong family connections and a fully engaged parent are still at the top of list when it comes to helping children reach their full potential.

 

But keeping up with kids emotional and social needs can be hard work and a little overwhelming sometimes.  Below you’ll see a checklist of small steps you can take daily, weekly, and monthly to stay connected no matter how busy your schedules.

 

While we love this checklist, we also know that some kids need a little more support than others.  It might be because of changing or stressful family dynamics like illness or divorce {or this crazy government shutdown!} or your child may just move a little slower than their peers- either way we have some solutions.

 

Our new Kids Under Construction class offers a 6-week class series to help kids in 2nd -5th grade build their social skills, manage their emotions, and grow more confident in their abilities.  And we include lots of support and resources for parents along the way.  Tomorrow is the last day of our Early Bird Registration deal {you can save $70!} so sign up now.

 

For more information on Kids Under Construction and to register… Click Here!

{you can also scroll all the way down to register right from this page}

And if you’ve got a teen, check out our ongoing monthly Teen Talk class.  It’s the next level of social skills, giving teenagers a forum to talk about their stress and feelings in a safe environment.  And we work on building better communication skills to help them succeed at home and school.

 

If you’re looking for something to put into action today, check out our Busy Parent’s Checklist below.

 

Although originally designed with teenagers in mind, the checklist below is a great way for parents with children of all ages to stay connected and continue to foster a strong relationship.  Check it out and then tell us in the comments about the special tricks you’ve learned to stay connected and keep the communication open with your kids & teens.

 

The Busy Parent’s Checklist

{This list is adapted from Navigating the Teen Years a publication by SAMHSA}

THINGS TO DO DAILY

  • Know your teen’s main activities and plans for the day.
  • Know where your teens are when you are at work or not otherwise with them, and who they are likely to be with.
  • If appropriate for that day, remind your teen about relevant rules.
  • At the end of the day, ask about your teen’s activities.
  • Praise and thank your teen for good behavior.
  • Check that homework and other responsibilities have been completed.
  • Try to have family meals together or engage in a family activity on a regular basis.

THINGS TO DO WEEKLY

  • Take some time to check in with each child. Set 20 minutes aside to find out how friendships are going, what’s happening at school and what other events are important in your teen’s life.
  • Ask your teen mid-week if there are any special plans for the weekend that require your input. Do this early to avoid last-minute conflict.
  • Every once in a while, check that your teens are where they say they are going to be.
  • Encourage your teen to have a friend over or engage in fun activities together.
  • Remind your teen about weekday/weekend rules when appropriate.

THINGS TO DO MONTHLY

  • Make sure you’ve had at least a couple of individual activities or outings with your teen.
  • Check the temperature of your relationship. How are things going?
  • Check in with your teen to see what has taken up his or her time and interest this month, and discuss it.  Ask if there’s anything you can do to help.
  • Make sure you’ve followed through on any recent promises to your teen.
  • Plan one special family event or activity. Try to do things that your teen enjoy.
  • Get a report from teachers on your teen’s school progress; most schools allow you to do this online now. Check in with coaches or a guidance counselor about extracurricular activities.
  • Take a monitoring inventory. Who has your teen been spending time with? What has he been doing?  What have they been spending their money on?  Follow up on any red flags or concerns.
  • Stay up-to-date on news and trends among teens in the area. Talk with other parents and discuss concerns with your kids. Check with local youth organizations to find out about problems in your community.
  • Check in with your teens about rules. If they’ve been doing well, then be flexible and reward them in meaningful ways. When your teens are ready, allow them more freedoms.

 

Don’t forget to sign up for Kids Under Construction or Teen Talk today!  You and your child will be glad that you did.

Kids Under Construction for 4th & 5th Graders (scroll down for other age groups)

Kids Under Construction for 1st & 2nd Graders

Teen Talk Monthly Classes

Online Ticketing for How To Talk So Your Parents Will Listen powered by Eventbrite

when do you let sleeping kids lie…

September 25, 2013 • Family Stuff, parenting, Parenting and Family Life, Research & Trends in Mental Health, Teenagers • by
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Below is a old post from waaay back in our early days of blogging… it may be old but the same rules apply when it comes to teens & sleep so I’m re-posting today.  I’d love to hear if you all have found any new tricks for managing sleep routines in your house- leave your comments below! :-)

It’s always  a hard call each Saturday morning as my kids snuggle into their blankets and try to shut out the morning sun- do I wake them or let them enjoy a few more hours of weekend sleep?  I often reminisce on my own teenage years, sleeping till noon or even 2pm on weekends… how I used to enjoy those lazy days.  But as I look at my own kids I can’t help but think of recent studies that I have read on adolescent sleep.  Turns out the those days of “catching up” on my sleep as a kid were not such a great idea.  Allowing our kids to sleep in late on the weekend actually makes it harder for them to get up on Monday mornings… and let’s not even talk about what a whole summer of sleeping in does!

 

In fact there is a lot of interesting new research on adolescent sleep.  For instance, did you know that those late night hours that your teenager is keeping may actually be the result of a shift in their biological clock?  Mary Carskadon at Brown University has done some enlightening work that suggests somewhere around the beginning of adolescence (researchers generally consider adolescence as ages 11-20) our internal circadian rhythm (i.e. sleep clock) moves back, making our bodies perk up during the late evening, just when parents are trying to get kids to go to bed!

 

I’ve written an article for Associated Content on this research- you can find it here.  It includes some useful tips on helping kids get to sleep and helping them establish good “sleep habits” that will last a lifetime.  For example, in spite of the fond memories of my own Saturdays sleeping till noon, it really is best to encourage our kids to keep a relatively consistent sleep schedule.  That means waking up those sleepy heads within  2-3 hours of their usual wake up time for school.

 

Here are a few  more suggestions:

  • Take your teenager back to their early childhood with audiobooks.  Using audiobooks to lull yourself to sleep can help teens focus on something relaxing and begin to shut down their thoughts.  With the academic challenges and many peer dramas that usually accompany middle and high school, having a tool to help turn off racing minds can go a long way to getting some rest.
  • Use light to signal the body that sleep is coming.  While researchers are finding that during adolescence our sleep patterns are less reactive to light, it still triggers our brain to know when its time for sleep.  Try to have your child turn off all but 1 lamp in their room (or wherever they are) about an hour before bed.  Turn off TVs and computers as the flickering light from them can really disrupt the bodies signals to begin relaxing.
  • You can also use light to help wake up grumpy teens for school.  I have used an automatic timer (the kind you might get for your Christmas tree lights) for years.  It turns on a lamp in my kid’s room about 20 minutes before their alarm goes off easing the transition from deep sleep to waking.  The artificial light helps to signal that morning is here and begins to rouse their sleeping bodies.  It’s an especially useful trick in winter months when many kids need to be awake, dressed, and heading to the school bus before the sun is up!

Try these tips and tell me what you think.  Or do you have your own tips on helping kids (and adults) get better sleep or wake up happier in the morning?  Tell us all about it in the comments!

Want more support for your teen this school year?  Sign up for our Teen Talk Class- each month is a new topic so join us every month as we explore everything from healthy habits to dating to dealing with parents and school.  Our next class is October 1.

Don’t forget tonight is Q & A with GTA.  Join us live at 9pm EST – we want to hear what’s on your mind.

Aaarg, it’s back to school time already? | part 2 ~ the parent’s edition

August 30, 2013 • Family Stuff, parenting, Parenting and Family Life, Self Care Is Sexy, Teenagers, Teens • by
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Hispanic family eating breakfastA couple weeks ago I wrote a post all about helping your child get ready to go back to school.  Now that the time is finally here, I have a message just for you parents.  Especially the ones who tend to forget themselves in the process.  Kids going back to school means you go back to school too, at least with regard to the routine and helping with homework, oh, and possibly providing transportation.

 

Okay, let’s just agree that like it or not- you’re relegated to school as well.

 

So, there are things that you can do to transition from summertime to school time, some of which may sound familiar.

  1. Eat energy foods
  2. Ensure you get enough sleep
  3. Drink plenty of water
  4. Try to do some form of physical exercise.

By virtue of doing these four things your stress level can be greatly decreased.  Yes, I know life is busy but maybe you can entertain the idea of having some compassion for yourself.  I mean give yourself a break, if last year didn’t go so well maybe this year will.

 

And, allow at least the first two weeks of school to really begin to settle into the new routine.  Even if you “practiced” getting ready over the last few weeks of summer, the actual transition into the school year routine still takes some getting used to.  Get yourself mentally ready for the unpredictable- whether it’s going to be a phone call from a teacher or the nurse, or your young one magically having some kind of ache or pain on the first day.  This way, if nothing happens it’ll be a nice surprise but if something throws a wrench into your routine, it won’t be so unexpected.

 

And just like you did for the kids… plan a last hoorah for yourself.  It could be a spa day, massage, girls/guys night out or just a day to yourself to do nothing.  And in planning this last hoorah be sure it includes an opportunity to surround yourself with supportive people.  There’s nothing like being in the company of someone who cares about you and is willing to let you vent.

{can’t remember the last time you focused on you?  check out our upcoming More than a Mom class and let us help you rediscover yourself.  Our next class is September 16- click here to register now.}

 

The first day back to school can be daunting.  It is as much the first day back for the child as it is for the parent.  Get ready, ease yourself into it adopt the attitude that whatever’s going to happen will happen. Embrace the notion that your little ones are growing up and so are you.  This is yet another stepping stone in their lives.  Breathe and remember, the first day back to school only happens once a year!

How to get unstuck, meditating with Oprah, & other Monday morning updates

August 12, 2013 • Couples, GTA Services & Events, Health Resources, parenting, Parenting and Family Life, Teenagers, Teens, Uncategorized • by
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Happy Monday everybody!

Although things have been a little quiet over here on the blog, we’ve been as busy as usual behind the scenes.  I’m really excited to get back into a regular routine on the blog and start hearing from all of you much more often.  In that spirit I thought I’d start this week catching you up on what we’ve been doing with some fun and interesting updates…

5 questions to help you get unstuck…

I’m excited to share my (Esther) first article for MindBodyGreen.com with you.  If you’re looking for a site with a positive and holistic approach towards wellness, then this is a great place to start.  With articles ranging from recipes to tips for finding great doctors, to improving (or starting) your yoga practice, MindBodyGreen.com has a wealth of information.  Wondering where to start?  How about my brand new article on how to go from feeling stagnant to moving full speed ahead in 5 easy steps!  Check it out and then leave your comments, I’d love to hear what you think.

 

Q & A with GTA…

2 weeks ago we had  our first session of Q & A with GTA via spreecast.  In spite of a few technical glitches along the way, it was so much fun!  Llouana and I had a fantastic time chatting with everyone about everything from dealing with teenagers at home to managing anxiety, and making time to play!  We hope that more of you will join us at the next session on Wednesday, August 28 at 9pmEST.  This is an invitation only event so be sure to subscribe to our list if you haven’t already.  And if you want to check out last months discussion just visit our channel on Spreecast.

 

Meditating with Oprah & Deepak…

On a personal note I wanted to let you all know that I am doing the 21-day Mediation Challenge sponsored by Oprah & Deepak Chopra and it’s fantastic!  I’ve felt everything from alert and exhilarated to downright tearful through the first week of guided meditations but it’s all been a positive growing experience.  The theme is Miraculous Relationships and you know that at GTA we are all about building healthy relationships.  If you are interested in trying meditation or are looking for a way to gain a new perspective on your relationships, sign up now.  If you are already doing the challenge let me know how it’s going in the comments below.

Fall Classes at GTA…

For all of our locally based clients, be sure to check out our new class schedules.  We have new dates scheduled for our parenting, teens, and couples classes from now all the way until January 2014!  We are excited to shake things up in our Teen Talk class by now offering specific themes each month.  Take one class or take them all… we promise to help your adolescent develop the communication and self-care skills needed to succeed this year.

And if you live outside of the DC metro area, be sure to let us know which classes you are interested in.  Many of our most popular in-person classes will be launching as online programs in the coming months.  Stay tuned and don’t forget to join our list so you can be the first to know about new programs and get our best pricing!

 

Now that we got you up to date on a few things happening here at GTA, tell us what’s happening in your corner of the world?

Taming Test Anxiety

April 18, 2013 • All About Therapy, GTA Services & Events, parenting, Stress and Relaxation, Teenagers • by
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joana_croftThe time of year when teens get overwhelmed with SOLS and finals is approaching faster than ever, and many of them are just trying to pass.  For many kids, no matter how hard they study or listen in class test time means lots of stress and anxiety.  Suddenly they are overwhelmed and can’t remember what they’ve learned all year.

Well, test anxiety and school stress don’t have to mean poor grades.  Our upcoming Stress-Free Testing for Teens class might help them to calm down enough not just to pass but do better so that they can really enjoy their summer.  They’ll learn tools to take their stress levels from overwhelming to motivating.  Our class will teach practical skills that they can apply right now and continue to use whenever test time arises.

Click here to register now for Stress- Free Testing for Teens- space is limited!

 

Looking for more resources on managing school and text anxiety?  Check out these excellent articles

Helping a Worrier Become a Warrior

Why Can Some Kids Handle Pressure While Others Fall Apart?

3 Things you should let your daughter do and some other thoughts on giving teens a choice

April 13, 2013 • parenting, Teenagers • by
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Group Of Teenagers Sitting On A CouchI recently read a rather interesting article by a 14-year-old blogger over on CafeMoms, called 3 Things Parents Should Let Their Daughters Do Before They Turn 16.

As the mother of teenagers, I am not so sure that any 14 year old girl or boy should be getting “tatted up” {for those of you over a certain age I mean “getting tattoos”}.  However, I do believe that the young author makes a solid argument for allowing teenagers the opportunity to make some life choices before they get to 16 or 18.

By allowing teens to make their own choices about dating, make-up, extracurricular activities, and other things that matter to them, parents encourage critical thinking and independence- two traits that are key to transitioning into a productive and healthy adult life.  Making “bad” choices {like dating a not-so-nice guy or trying to wear too much eyeliner or watching a questionable movie} while still under the care of loving parents gives teens a chance to make errors while still having a safety net to help them change course and find the right path.

Check out the article below and let us know what you think?  Are these good ideas?  What would you add to the list?

Teenagers are running wild, from what I hear. But kids wouldn’t have to sneak around behind their parents’ backs and do things that got them in trouble if they just had a little more freedom to do the things they really want to do.

I’m 14 years old and that age means absolutely nothing. I have to wait until I’m 16 to do everything. I thought once I got into the ninth grade, I wouldn’t feel like a kid anymore. Wrong. Wroooooong. I have two more years before I can do just about anything I want to do, but I personally feel like kids should be able to do whatever they please (within reason) as long as their parents educate them about the dangers of the outside world and how to behave. Restricting kids makes them want to rebel and act crazy. I haven’t tried it. I’ve just heard things.  read the full article here…

 

 

 

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