I’ve decided to start a new (mostly) weekly feature called, Tuesday Topics. Each Tuesday we’ll pose a new question- sometimes serious and thought-provoking, sometimes fun and silly, but always a chance for conversation. Today we will kick things off with an easy one…
Now that we’ve had a few semi-warm days in row here in the DC area, let’s talk about springtime romance and our favorite outdoor dates! I was just at a party and someone suggested the driving range at Haines Point (it’s a beautiful spot here in DC, if you’re not local check it out here.)
While I love the views at Haines Point I have to say that my favorite outdoor date is much closer to home. As soon as it’s warm enough I love to be outside in the evening. I love it so much I convinced my husband to build a fireplace on the patio. And that’s my favorite outdoor date… just hanging out in my backyard in front of a fire with the twinkle lights on. It’s easy and romantic and I never have to worry about being late for date night!
Now it’s your turn to tell us your favorite outdoor date night plans…
Leave your ideas in the comments below or post them on our Facebook page or tell us via Twitter (#OutdoorDateNight)
It’s National Wedding Month and to celebrate love we are giving away a free copy of my new book, The Date Deck and a $25 Amazon giftcard. give it away as an engagement present or keep it for yourself and get your date night plans right this weekend! Simply enter below and we’ll pick a winner on February 28! (don’t forget you can enter every day to increase your odds!)
a Rafflecopter giveaway
See what people are saying about The Date Deck…
“The thing I love most about this book is that if you pick up a copy, there will not be one reason to say, “I’m not really that creative” since the author has given you enough alternatives to last quite a few dates. Because every couple needs a date night is more than good reason to get this book.” -Lera
“My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and with three small children it is not always easy to have time together let alone a romantic evening. That’s why I love this book. I can sneak in dates and remember just how much I love him wherever I can. The author does a great job of focusing on just how easy it is to reconnect.” -Kelly A.
“Good book to get the juices flowing for a person that really does not think about date night. The book offers realistic opportunities for couples to enjoy each other and spark romance and togetherness in their relationship.” -Chris R.
“I would totally recommend anyone who asks themselves ‘how can I feel more in love with my partner’ to get this book. Simple and powerful!” -Michelle
“The author provides sound options, opinions, and expert advice for breaking complacent routines in favor for enriched experiences. I strongly recommend this book for couples starting over again, and for couples hoping to recover fun and romance back into their lives.” -Mark C.
Whether you are heading out of town to visit family or they are coming to you, holiday dinners can be both fun and frustrating. So before you head out for Thanksgiving dinner this year I want to you to read Lisa Kift’s tips on learning to soothe yourself in the face of emotional overload.
Her article gives you a simple recipe for reducing cortisol (stress hormone) and increasing oxytocin (the ‘bonding’ hormone)- you might remember these from some vintage {ok…it’s super old} posts I wrote about the power of the 20-second body hug.
Don’t let annoying Uncle Fred or cousin Suzy’s whining triplets get the best of you…. sneak away for a few moments and try Lisa’s self-soothing tips. In 30 seconds you’ll be smiling and ready to face your family and all their quirks.
Let’s face it… money+ relationships is almost always a recipe for debate. {and by debate I mean conflict}
Money is an emotionally charged topic and one that is often tied to issues of power and control in your relationship. Even if you never thought about it before, I bet that if you are honest right now you would have to admit that at some point or another you or your partner {probably both of you} have used money to control a situation or get your way.
As the saying goes… “he who has the gold, makes the rules.”
Unfortunately that’s not a formula for a happy and equitable romance. The good news is that in love and in life the real gold {i.e. power} is knowledge and self-awareness.
Understanding your finances, from both a practical and emotional perspective, can go a long way to improving your relationship and your credit score.
But what happens when one person is using your spending style against you? For nearly 1 in 10 couples there is some form of financial bullying happening in their relationship. This pattern of making a partner feel guilty or constantly questioning their financial moves can easily lead to conflict and ultimately the end of the relationship. That’s not to say you should just spend with reckless abandon, but you do need come to some understanding of how to effectively deal with finances as a team.
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
This clip from the Today Show earlier this week offers some insight on the issue of financial bullying and can be a great springboard for conversation in your relationship. And with the holiday shopping season right around the corner, this is the perfect time to start addressing those financial debates.
If you’re looking for more help to deal with finances in your relationship check out these sites below or contact us to schedule a counseling or coaching session with one of our relationship experts.
FinancialTherapyAssociation.org
This website was created by a group of professionals that identify themselves as financial therapists, professionals that join financial eduction with family therapy. Some of the members are from Kansas State University, the birth place of what may be the first financial therapy clinic which offers families and couples therapy and financial planning services in a holistic environment. This website, although a work in progress, has links to interesting articles and other resources including the Journal of Financial Psychology.
Michelle Singletary
Washington Post columnist and featured on many national media outlets, Michelle Singletary offers a no-nonsense, old school wisdom approach to financial freedom. While the website does not focus specifically on women and relationships, it offers a great deal of financial tools and articles you can use. The topics of her Washington Post column vary across the entire financial spectrum and with a little searching you can find information on nearly any issue that is of concern to you.
{Please note that if you are in a relationship where you have no access to financial resources or feel that you must do things for your partner in order to get access to even small amounts of money, you may have crossed the line from bullying to abuse. Please visit National Network to End Domestic Violence to learn more and get help.}
I’m super excited to invite all of you in the DC metro area to join me, Annette Kielkopf of The Source Yoga Studio, Gee Sanders of the Paul C Brunson Agency and many other awesome experts for Breathe Stretch Sip… a mental health awareness brunch hosted by Fit Fam Foundation. It should be an amazing event with great food and great conversation. We’ll be talking about how to live your best life, have healthy relationships, and embrace a happier & healthier lifestyle.
Click the flyer to learn more & RSVP today.
Brunch starts at noon at Cause Philathropub in Washington, DC.
Admission is free but does not include food & beverages.
Not too long ago my friend Paul Brunson, a matchmaker and all around relationship guru, sent me an interesting dilemma. A new wife had reached out to him because she was worried about a secret friendship her husband had with another woman. Clearly there was a lot to talk about!
Can a married man have single female friends?
Is it ever ok to have secretive friendships from your spouse?
Do spouses have the right to tell their partner to end a friendship?
It was a hot topic on his Facebook page with lots of differing opinions and passionate arguments. And of course I weighed in with some advice of my own for this newlywed – {you can see what I had to see here}.
But beyond the debate of “secret” friendships, I got to thinking about the ways in which marriages (and any committed relationship) can become vulnerable to infidelity or betrayal. In this age of so many distractions and easy anonymity, it can be hard to keep good boundaries around your relationship.
Or is it?
While I will agree that there are many potential temptations and opportunities for trust to breakdown, there are also many simple ways to protect your relationship (and yourself). One of my favorites is DATE NIGHT. That’s right… date night!
It’s a simple thing but there are a variety of reasons that it is more than just something to do on a Friday night. Date night can help keep your relationship strong and healthy- the best defense against betrayal, infidelity, and questionable ‘friendships’. Date night promotes
A sense of newness- we love what’s fresh and new, it’s attractive. So instead of being attracted to someone new, create new experiences with the someone you’re with. It’s amazing how quickly this can refresh a relationship that’s started to feel stale.
Closeness- this digital age is so full of distractions that it’s a wonder we even talk to our partners some days. But date night can help you connect and engage with each other on a regular basis
Fun- never underestimate the power of fun and laughter to keep your relationship healthy and happy!
Wondering what to do for your next date night?? Pick up a copy of our my new Kindle book… The Date Deck… ’cause every couple needs a date night.
{If you don’t have a Kindle you can download a free Kindle apphere.}
Do you have other ideas about how to protect your relationship from the temptation of others?
How have you and your partner established clear boundaries around your marriage or relationship?
Join us for Brunch!
