Guest post by Jane Yamaykin


A while ago, I found an amazing form fitting dress at a small consignment shop for just $5! Only $5 for a satin, peacock blue, designer dress that hugs my body as though it were tailor made for me. And yet, finding it there means someone else thought they liked it enough to buy it and only later realized it wasn’t the dress for them.


Dating in my 30s is now much the same. You don’t go to a consignment shop looking for something you NEED – you go looking for something fun, different, or interesting. My closet is pretty complete – as is my life – but you never know when something exciting might come your way. And I know I’ll never find it without looking. Even mere window browsing is required to see something you might like. In some strikingly similar ways whether dating or shopping, it’s all about the experience. Perhaps the analogy is even more appropriate considering the number of divorced men I now meet.


For many of us, dating in high school and college was like a trip to Gap or Old Navy. There were many things you liked OK – and most of them were similar to the outfits worn by all of your friends. Sure some were nicer than others, and a few were standout pieces. Regardless, they were all plentiful. But it’s in the consignment shops that real treasures are to be found – and even then I loved a great Goodwill find.


As I’ve gotten older, my dating prowess has increased along with my shopping sense. I know how to spot red flags and deal breakers as well as cheap fabrics or poor quality stitching. I also know how to spot a great deal. I recognize some things will never go with anything in my closet no matter how hard I try to make an outfit (or a relationship) work. And I concede that anything too small for me in the store will not magically fit when I get it home – much like an overbearing relationship that leaves no room to grow.


Like consignment store finds, some dates are outrageous. Some are out there for a reason. Some have just a few small flaws that can be easily overlooked if the rest is worthwhile. It all depends on what you’re looking for – and one really needs to be motivated to put in the time and energy to look and try on.


By our 30s, most of us are solidly the colorful characters we have become over our three decades on this planet. The question is – is it a good fit? Is it good quality (whatever that means to you)? Is it worth the price? And perhaps most importantly, trust your gut to tell you!

start 2016 with a fresh outlook on finding, keeping, & enjoying the love you want; join us for Dating Dilemmas!