Aaarg, it’s back to school time already? | part 2 ~ the parent’s edition

Hispanic family eating breakfastA couple weeks ago I wrote a post all about helping your child get ready to go back to school.  Now that the time is finally here, I have a message just for you parents.  Especially the ones who tend to forget themselves in the process.  Kids going back to school means you go back to school too, at least with regard to the routine and helping with homework, oh, and possibly providing transportation.

 

Okay, let’s just agree that like it or not- you’re relegated to school as well.

 

So, there are things that you can do to transition from summertime to school time, some of which may sound familiar.

  1. Eat energy foods
  2. Ensure you get enough sleep
  3. Drink plenty of water
  4. Try to do some form of physical exercise.

By virtue of doing these four things your stress level can be greatly decreased.  Yes, I know life is busy but maybe you can entertain the idea of having some compassion for yourself.  I mean give yourself a break, if last year didn’t go so well maybe this year will.

 

And, allow at least the first two weeks of school to really begin to settle into the new routine.  Even if you “practiced” getting ready over the last few weeks of summer, the actual transition into the school year routine still takes some getting used to.  Get yourself mentally ready for the unpredictable- whether it’s going to be a phone call from a teacher or the nurse, or your young one magically having some kind of ache or pain on the first day.  This way, if nothing happens it’ll be a nice surprise but if something throws a wrench into your routine, it won’t be so unexpected.

 

And just like you did for the kids… plan a last hoorah for yourself.  It could be a spa day, massage, girls/guys night out or just a day to yourself to do nothing.  And in planning this last hoorah be sure it includes an opportunity to surround yourself with supportive people.  There’s nothing like being in the company of someone who cares about you and is willing to let you vent.

{can’t remember the last time you focused on you?  check out our upcoming More than a Mom class and let us help you rediscover yourself.  Our next class is September 16- click here to register now.}

 

The first day back to school can be daunting.  It is as much the first day back for the child as it is for the parent.  Get ready, ease yourself into it adopt the attitude that whatever’s going to happen will happen. Embrace the notion that your little ones are growing up and so are you.  This is yet another stepping stone in their lives.  Breathe and remember, the first day back to school only happens once a year!

Aaarg, it’s back to school time already?

little girl in classroomAt least that’s what the kids are saying.   Summertime is the time to live footloose and fancy free…spend time with friends, hang out, go to parties, and eat pizza.  For some, it’s an opportunity to finally get up the nerve to ask that boy or girl out, drive anywhere else but school or, get their first summer job.

 

But no sooner than when the fun begins, we see the back to school commercials on TV, on the radio and in stores.  An annoying reminder of what’s coming next.

 

But don’t despair, there are some simple things that parents can do to help with the transition.

 

They can start by reintroducing energy foods back into their kids’ diets. This way, their bodies can start to readjust to the cafeteria food that they’ll be eating.

 

Just about a week or two before school starts, depending on the youngster, have them practice waking up at the time they usually do for school.  If they have a summertime commitment then have them pack their (book) bags and pick out clothes the night before.

 

If an after school activity is a thought for the school year then get them involved now, either through the school or rec leagues, so that they can get a feel for it or improve for try outs.

 

Encourage them to do Math and/or read daily.  It’ll be a challenge but they can lose some of their skills over the summer.  Set up a reward system or help your child rediscover the joy of reading for FUN- it’ll help when school starts and they have to read what’s assigned.

 

If the child has been having difficulty in school academically then getting a tutor beforehand would be advised. There’s nothing like starting of the year in a one down position or feeling like a failure.  Try to design your ‘Good Grades Plan.’  This is the plan where rewards for good grades are clarified so that your child knows what to expect, as well as consequences for the contrary.

 

If there were emotional and behavior problems during last school year, then seeking professional help from a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist would be the way to go now.  Don’t forget to include a plan to consult with the school’s Guidance Counselor, preferably before school starts. {looking for some extra support through the school year? check out our monthly classes for teens & parents!}

 

Check to make sure that you’ve scheduled a medical appointment for a physical and have your pediatrician complete any medical forms that the school nurse or afterschool care facility might need.  And that goes for filling prescriptions too, now is the time to call them in.

 

You can think about having a date with your child to casually talk about their anticipation of the upcoming school year.  Sometimes they’re completely stoked and sometimes there’s fear, anxiety, sadness, or even confusion.  Not all kids are forthcoming so I’ll issue a warning; the older the child the less time they’ll spend talking to you on this subject.  But don’t worry, you don’t need a lot of time to still have quality conversation with them.  To help the process you can go to an ice cream parlor, coffee shop, restaurant, nail salon; basically any place that facilitates conversation, especially if it’s a place they like.

 

Finally, plan a last hoorah for the youngster whether it be a back to school party, sleepover, major hang out with friends at your house or a trip to a theme park.  It would not only be a clear demarcation that summer is over but a celebration of its culmination.  End summer on high note and let those good feelings float into the new school year!

Runner's Workshop- Preparing for race day

mental strategies for running successEither you’re a first time runner, you’ve ran a few races or you’re a veteran, no matter your level; each race is its own animal. Maybe it’s the course, the season or what’s going on in your life, getting ready and making it happen can be daunting…and the big day is going to come faster than you think.

Well, you don’t have to sweat it alone.

Give yourself a better chance to cross the finish line and join me  for a workshop at The Running Store in Gainesville on September 18 from 7-8pm.  In addition to my work as a therapist and wellness coach, I am fitness buff and dancer so I know fist hand the  joys and challenges of competing. Come and learn how to identify the potential roadblocks to your race day success and creative strategies to get past them. Space is limited so be sure to RSVP with or by calling  703-753-4470 to reserve your spot today!  Can’t wait to see you there.

 

 

Interested in learning more before the workshop?  Check out this article from WarriorMindCoach.com for some strategies on going the distance when it comes to endurance sports.

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Facing Colorado: Coping with community tragdy

Honestly, I’m not sure what to say about the movie theater massacre that happened on Friday in Aurora, Colorado.  I think I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts so that whatever I wrote would make some semblance of sense.  It’s shocking and a reminder that life is fragile and unpredictable.  Can you imagine that a benign activity like going to see the opening of a movie can turn into people running for their lives?  It’s the kind of stuff you see in movies not at the movies!  Memories of Columbine and the Virginia Tech shootings come flooding back in a hurry.  And what you were doing, who you were with, and where you were start becoming vivid.

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, boyfriends, the list goes on.  These victims didn’t need to be.  It’s enough to make you feel a host of emotions: frozen, angry, sad, worry, vigilance, protection, appreciation…  Can anything be done or said to help ease the pain and the reality of the loss?  How could someone do such a thing?  How could no one know?  The questions can be endless and don’t seem very helpful.

Additionally, an event like this can propel us to start thinking about the inordinate amount of time spent planning and waiting for something so that we could live the life we want.  I think this event may challenge that.  Time is not guaranteed and we certainly don’t control it.  But we can control/manage how we feel, our decisions and what we do.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the hype of it all and experience a range of sensations from anger to helplessness.  Some of you may even find a new sense of motivation and drive to accomplish things and embrace life.   Even if your response to this tragedy feels unusual to you, in truth all of these emotions can be quite normal, actually.  But as the days and weeks pass, you might find yourself becoming concerned for those around you whose mood shifts and behavior changes.  Maybe you start to notice changes in functioning in various areas of their life like work, home, or even their social life.  Maybe the someone who’s changing is you.  If you or someone else notices this about yourself or someone that they care about, be brave, take a deep breath and step in.

When there is a large scale tragedy we all cope in different ways but there are some things we want you to remember.  Try not to be alone or if that’s what you need let someone know so that they can check in on you.  It’s also okay not to watch or read too many stories about this tragedy as well as talk about it incessantly.   Sometimes doing these very things can skew your perception of what else in going on with you, your loved ones, the country or the world, for that matter.  This is the time for communication and use of the community.  I’m talking about reaching out to friends, family, neighbors, or your church, synagogue, mosque and even professionals, if need be.   Most states have county-based mental health centers that can be searched by computer by looking up ‘community mental health center’ in your state.  Use your resources and support network.  Maintain and manage.  Best of health and well-being to you all.

On behalf of Group Therapy Associates, our hearts go out to the victims and their families.   And our hearts go out to you, our community during this time of grief and shock, it’s important to remember that there are people out here to listen and support you… including those of us here at GTA.

Remembering 9/11

Most of us remember this shocking historic event in 2001 when two airplanes crashed into the Twin Towers in New York.  But that wasn’t all was it?  The crashes destabilized the Towers and turned them into rubble, trapping several and injuring others!  Then another plane crashed into the pentagon and yet another was diverted and crashed in Pennsylvania, thanks to some brave heroes who sacrificed their lives for the greater good.  It was unbelievable and jaw dropping.  This kind of catastrophe doesn’t happen in the US, right?  Well, it did.  The nation was on pause as the news was confirmed and spread like wild fire.  Then reality hit and panic set in…do I know someone in New York, Washington, DC or on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania?  Are they ok?  Phone lines were jammed and all we could do was sit, wait and watch in horror as the day unfolded.

If we took a moment we could recall where we were, who we were with and what we were doing.  It’s that vivid.  On this 10th anniversary you can’t help but think back to that time and wonder if there might be another attack.  There’s no way to know.  All you can do is be cautious and aware.  Anxiety and helplessness are only two of the many sentiments that could surface as Sunday approaches.  Folks can get flooded and react in a variety of ways…tearful, anger/irritable, moody, difficulty concentrating, avoid people, places or things; feel ‘blah,’ and yet others might have body aches, nightmares, have problems sleeping, and do risky things.  Some may even get to a point where they’re no longer thinking of the future and become suicidal or homicidal; both of which are serious dispositions that warrant intervention.

This leads me to discuss a common disorder that can also present itself during times likethis.  It’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is generally triggered by a traumatic event.  Here are some of the symptoms (to include some of the aforementioned):

flashbacks/repeated memories of the event

feeling detached/showing less emotion

exaggerated response to things that startle you

feeling more aware

memory problems related to important parts of the event

stress

and headache, to name a few

It’s important to mention that these symptoms can be mild to severe.  The key is how long it lasts and if there’s interference in ‘normal’ functioning then there’s an indication of a need for help.

Finally, aside from experiencing symptoms, there’s the subject of management.  Some cope well while others might resort to alcohol abuse, drug use and other self-destructive behaviors.   All of these reactions happen because you’re human so it’s important to monitor yourself and each other.  You don’t have to relive this alone.  Reach out.  Call or spend time with family, friends, neighbors…  Attend church or whatever environment that feeds you spiritually.  Call your local community mental health center, especially if these responses persist.

9/11 happened but it doesn’t have to stop you from living the life you want.

LlouanaHarper, LPC, NCC

Psychology of the ‘Tween’ and Teenager

There are some adults who wonder what’s going on with ‘tweens’ and teens these days.  They just get unruly at a moment’s notice and can flip the script behaviorally just as fast.  It’s like living with Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde.  And it seems to be happening sooner in age.  Some parents wake up and go to sleep nervous because they’re not sure who they’ll meet the next day and during any given encounter for that matter.  They may even go to the lengths of feeling like hostages in their own homes and walk on egg shells.  On the other hand, the teenager finds difficulty regulating the self and struggles to predict how they’ll be that day, hour, minute and second, which can be frustrating in and of itself. Read More…

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