As a couples therapist I’m big on finding simple ways to help couples keep their relationship happy and healthy.  One of the easiest ways to do that is by making time for date night.  You may have guessed that I’m an advocate of date night for every relationship… after all I did write a book about it!  But one of the questions I get all the time, is how does date night make relationships better?


I think we can all see how having fun is a good thing and I get a lot of guys out there telling me that it makes the women in the their life happy so that’s a good enough reason to do it.


But are there other reason, maybe even research –based reasons, that date night is more than a cliché offered by therapists and relationship experts?


You bet there are!

So today I want to talk about the 5 ways that date night can improve your relationship.

  1. Communication.  So often the reason that communication starts to break down in relationships is that couples stop making time to just talk.  Not the dreaded “we need to talk” kind of conversation but the every day, catching up with each other kinds of talks.  We need those simple conversations to stay connected emotionally and keep up with the important things happening in each other’s lives.  Date night creates a consistent opportunity to do just that.
  2. Novelty.  One of the most common complaints I hear from couples in various stages of relationship is that their partner has become boring!  But the truth is that more often than not it isn’t your spouse or boyfriend who got boring… it’s the way you spend time together.  Date night, when you do it right, keeps things fresh, interesting, and makes you both more engaged in your relationship.  Do something new or adventurous for date night and see what happens!
  3. Eros is the fancy, scientific word for romantic love and passion.  While we all have our own personal definition of romance, there is no doubt that regular date nights can help you keep that spark alive.  The focused attention on one another and the anticipation of a fun and flirty time together is often all anyone needs to put the sexy back in their relationship (or just keep it there!)
  4. Commitment, now if you’re just in the early phases of a relationship the topic of commitment may seem premature but date night is a good way to not only foster a sense of commitment but also get a gauge of how committed a new partner may be.  Time is a precious commodity and when we promise to give it to someone on a regular basis… like a weekly date… then we also send the message that you’re committed to helping the relationship grow.  And that’s an important message whether you have been together for 3 months of 30 years.
  5. Last but certainly not least is the power of date night to de-stress and relax you.  If you’re life is anything like mine then there’s always something on the to do list.  It’s unfortunate but most of us live very busy lives full of stress and obligations.  Date night should be an opportunity to let loose, have fun, and enjoy the person who matters most in your life.

-Date night should be an opportunity to

So there you have it.  5 research based reasons that date night can make your relationship better.  Finding time to just be together may seem simple or even obvious but as life gets busy, it’s easy to put ‘dating’ each other on the back burner.  But if you remind yourself how beneficial those few hours can be, it should be easier to keep date night a top priority.

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