Spring is in the air…I for one can’t wait for some warmer weather. It is the time of year where we begin to renew ourselves. As I dust off books, I am drawn to one of my many favorites, Sex Recharge, by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. The book does exactly that! If you are willing to take the 30-day challenge you will not be disappointed. It digs deep into what is breaking or already broken in your sexual relationship. You can either take the challenge as a single or couple. Dr. Kerner guarantees results.
This is always a go-to for me when working with couples that have lost that loving feeling and are having a hard time finding their way back to bed. There are so many reasons why we find ourselves disconnected from our partners. We are busy with work, kids, illness, aging parents, etc.
However, you hear about those couples that manage to prevail and have sex regularly years after they meet. What’s their secret? How did the rest of us get off track? I have worked with both men and women who struggle to keep their romance alive. Interestingly, I have found both partners begin to take their sexual relationship solo. Each partner, feeling disconnected, begins to create new sexual patterns on their own.
In today’s society we focus so much on instant gratification that pleasing your partner is being pushed to the side for more readily available alternatives. I’m talking about pornography here. It’s quick, it’s easy to access, and it can be very private…assuming you know how to delete cookies.
Oh yeah, it also doesn’t say, “ I have a headache.”
It can work as a quick fix but what lies deeper here is your inability to truly connect with your partner. More and more studies indicate pornography has the power to change our neurochemistry. By looking at pornography and thus satiating ourselves we are creating a false sense of love.
We can literally create new neural pathways and replace the old existing ones (you know the ones that included your partner!). Over the years I have seen an increase in this behavior. People are pushing their partners to the side and staying up late to voyeur. The problem is they are creating a bigger and deeper gap between themselves and their partner.
Could this mean sex with a partner is out the door and we are left alone with our computers? I hope not!
Perhaps in these relationships a partner has felt inadequate, unattractive, abandoned, dismissed, etc. These feelings can lead to a disconnection. But, it is more than just not having sex anymore. It is a breakdown in the emotional intimacy and connection that was once there.
And starting on June 1 I’m going to help you find your way back! Using Dr. Kerner’s book as a guide, we will talk about how to get this connection back and challenge you to look within to see where the breakdown occurred.
Our upcoming 30-Day Relationship Reboot will be a free e-course (i.e. delivered straight to your email inbox!) that offers a powerful, useful guide to getting back what you once had or maybe you never had.
I encourage you to wipe the dust off yourselves this spring and look ahead to see just how HOT you want your summer to be!
