June 1, 2015 marks the third time that I lived in the same area Virginia. I often associate my recurrences to my home state to the example of coming back to your hometown for a high school reunion. Prior to my most recent move back to Virginia, I lived in Dallas, Texas and in Pretoria, South Africa. When I returned back to Northern Virginia region where I shopped at the same stores, and often had awkward run-ins with friends from middle school at Panera’s. Needless to say, a lot of aspects of my original experience remained, but there were some differences each time I moved back. Literally my surroundings physically changed with new additions to the highways and buildings, which meant new places to shop was definitely not a concern. I was more focused on how I would cope with the changes of past people in my life and how the dynamics with them would change. I know all too well that time does not stand still for us, and change is inevitable. Skype becomes emails, emails become short text messages, and text messages become silence. Although I am lucky to have some friendships where our previous dynamic stayed intact, I have experienced uncomfortable silence over “reunited” lunches and I knew our relationship wouldn’t be the same.

I’ve realized that relationships are ultimately what changed my experiences each time. It wasn’t until I stopped comparing my relationship to its state prior to moving that I began to understand that it takes identification and acceptance of change to make progress.


Relationship Make-Over

Make a decision to change the dynamics in your relationship. Realize that this will only work if the both of you agree to take this step. It is essential to recognize and identify the differences in the relationship so it can flourish in a new way. Understand that every friend is not meant to be a part of every phase of our lives, but instead they make life sweeter in the time they were present in . Having this talk with your friend allows both parties to be on the same page about the relationship going forward. Adjusting the friendship can prove to be difficult as old images of the past linger, but not to worry, you will soon find solace in the idea of exercising healthy relationship habits. Not all relationships remain the same, but learning how to work around dynamic changes is a sure sign of adaptability, vital in any relationship.


Understand that every friend is not



The Beginning of the End

Acceptance is another crucial step. If the relationship is no longer functional, the best option is to accept that the two for you are in different stages of life and can no longer relate on the same level. Tempting as it may be to force the relationship back to the “old days,” keeping friends that no longer provide you with emotional and mental stimulation does more harm than good. An article from PyschCentral even suggests that writing a good-bye letter to your friend will help ease the pain as your true feelings are expressed providing the closure needed to move on (Pysch Central).




The purpose of this post is to share a personal revelation that shares advice on how to cope with changes in a relationship whether it be relocating, having different life experiences, attending different college, and so much more. Hopefully, by making the decision to identify and accept change you will make peace in any relationship!